literature

Haunted Heart's Melodies

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ShadowedElegance's avatar
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Literature Text

"I think to myself, I shall die of this,this hold of the music on me, I shall die of the very thing that all my young life I have craved to feel inside of me.

"Dig deep, deep, my soul, to find the heart - the blood - the heat - the shrine - the resting place that the music promises again and again to thee.Dig deep, deep into that black velvet of the night that matches the dark soil wherein all I have known and loved now lie.

"I seek it now - shamelessly - that shameful emotional ecstasy that can be found only in the notes of the sweet sweet melodies of the music that now flows in and through and over me. It is my possessor - it is my tempter - it is my devil - it is all of these to be sure but yet it is these things as well - In it I find my freedom - in it I find the satisfaction to my desires - in it is the very song of the angels, oh it must be that, yes. For in the music that he instilled in me is all that was, that is and that is to come. Oh sweet melodies, one last time I beg of thee to let me wallow in that sweet release known as death and there let me take with me, the apparition's music that he has cursed me with, oh blessed curse that it be. I know that the Devil sent this musician up from Hell, this violinist that took me to the very edges of the universe with notes. He was sent for those of us who are so half in love with easeful death, that when he inhabits he instills a touch of that wondrous releases chill."   


:sweet sadness found in notes, notes that cry, notes that moan, passions played out in blood by fingers that bleed on an instrument of wood, desires are lost in notes turned minor, notes that speak in tone of disharmony of darkness and horror, and I am not able to defy anymore so I stumble, I fall, I find release in the hell of letting go of it all:

:What is a smile but a mask for pain? What is a heart but a place for others to rip and rend? What is a soul but an instrument to be used by miscreants, to take it from it's golden state and turn it black with the final letting go of strength, strength to fight to keep it in place, untainted, untarnished, to fight, now it has become to me a disgrace,and in that disgrace, a release at last, One Man's Heaven is another Man's Hell.::

:And yet I hold one secret hidden in the deepest recesses of me, that by bleeding, by my yielding, by my giving up or giving in, or just plain stopping in the hopeless task of living, one comfort, one hope, in my resignation to your icy call, I have granted freedom to others to answer love's call.:

:Now with hands of ice that chill to my very core, I find I am dragged at last in my letting go , to His place, His Side, His Horror, oh sweet once was the music,now turned so sour. I dreamed I was flying and I found, I was not flying but laying smashed on the ground. Take me then with your hands of ice. Make me want only the pain, the sacrifice, bind me, chain me, to your darkest halls, be for me what you hoped I was, and I shall become for you that which you wish, an empty shell where once music lived and breathed.:


:So unmask yourself and let me see the true face behind that which has haunted me, for I shall not turn in horror away but know truly then it was my part to play in the game of chess of the job of living, I was the Pawn, for a King and Queen to go on living. I come to you willingly, for how else can I come with your talons in me, make me what you will, for it is in this I have no Power, no I have no Strength, to resist in this final notes of a symphony left unfinished in it's playing.:

"Sadly I sigh with endless sorrow, punctuated the whispers of my deepest sorrow by the crystal clarity of tears as they fall, I venture to ask myself who is this sighing one? And then in horror of most hideous retrospect I realize tis I that sighs in sorrow's deeper yet. I am like a stone, sinking in now different circumstance, where will my soul, now bound, find blessed refuge yet?"

"In deepest place of fire, does neither moon nor sun shine, stars are not seen, in most blackest of skies, lite with the color of red when wishes he, to what, oh to what shall my anxious heart appeal? Life has become insignificant, as a mere but overnight stay, sad wind comes and with flames enters and sears my heart within my breast, oh that I were the southeast wind, to blow away from here, but my Lord, My Master, has ordained in final triumph my staying here. I bow my head in sadness and in hope now lost yield."


"In past, my memory, echoes out a whisper almost lost,"Once you wandered in harmony and joy, favored with sweetest accompaniment of lute, and harp, and keys of ivory played by hands of tender caressing.' Though hands, loved with such deepest tenderness, in secret for need most great,desire never voiced, for this  secret being kept is in favor of love of friend met, passing clouds of darkness cover me, I look to thy sky above and wonder what for I seek? Shall by some chance of fate, small and with merest of hopes, that sound of sweetest harmonies, shall return? Tears drop like falling dew, as his angry voice rends my soul,"Never Trianna, never, none care that you are now mine whole.' Oh how true ring his words to me now, for all have whispered sweetest marzipan promises only to let go.""
I read "The Violin " by Anne Rice. Not many liked it I know, but there was so much to her and this is my paraphrase of how she must have felt, if the music went deeper, the talons secured harder, and she finally succumbed so others could give their hearts
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wizillusions's avatar
Oh Kat your have again created such a wonderful flowing piece. So many wonderful lines, so meaningful and touching. Here are some that I found exceptional.

Dig deep, deep, my soul, to find the heart - the blood - the heat - the shrine - the resting place

sweet once was the music,now turned so sour (made me think of a song by Genesis "Where the Sour Turns To Sweet" if your are not familiar with this song and are interested in hearing it e-mail me)

So unmask yourself and let me see the true face behind that which has haunted me

Sadly I sigh with endless sorrow, punctuated the whispers of my deepest sorrow

by the crystal clarity of tears as they fall

sad wind comes and with flames enters and sears my heart within my breast

my memory, echoes out a whisper almost lost,"Once you wandered in harmony and joy, favored with sweetest accompaniment of lute, and harp, and keys of ivory played by hands of tender
caressing.'

in secret for need most great,desire never voiced, for this secret being kept is in favor of love of friend

A :+fav: of course your work is excellent as always, if only I could produce such wonderful amazing work myself.